whatever

ok...i admit that i am not exactly the most picky person when it comes to what i choose to watch to entertain myself on any given day, but lately i have found myself more and more sucked into these strangely ubiquitous australian movies that kind of suck but are spellbinding nonetheless. i don't know if it the accent or the good tans and blond hair or the fact that the people in these flicks all tend to be good looking but not crazy hot. you know what i mean? they are cute, like the hot guy that works at your local mexican restaurant, but not brad pitt level hot by any means. what this means is that watching these flicks, which are invariably a love story, is like watching a documentary almost. you believe that these dudes might actually run into a few snags trying to score some pussy. i'm sorry, but i will never believe that jake gyllenhaal has to so anything other than make eye contact and crook a single finger to get some snatch...but these aussie guys are all so average looking, it adds an air of authenticity that only kiwis and diablo cody seem to be able to achieve. there is this one in particular about 4 guys who are all eighteen trying to get laid for the first time so they throw a huge party. it's like australian pie, the unrated version. australia, unlike the u.s. but like EVERY OTHER FUCKING PLACE ON EARTH, has a pretty lax policy when it comes to showing nudity and it is fairly gratuitous. but, becuase they do it all the fucking time, it has become a non-issue. i can't wait for americans to unbuckle the fucking bible belt that dictates we all have to adhere to an elizabethan sense of propriety when we all manage to procreate, so i'm fairly sure we are familiar with the opposite sex's kibbles and bits. anyway, i wasn't really planning on climbing onto that particular high horse, so i will get back to what i was trying to say to begin with. i think they have somehow managed to inject this movie with some kind of transferrable crack that has rendered me pretty much addicted to it. those guys are so cute and loveable and yet unfuckable. anyway.

speaking of my lack of pickiness, i was watching the girls next door yesterday and i found my new favorite insult, it will NEVER, of course, be more insulting than "you smell like cheese, you loser" (there are only a handful of people on this earth allowed to sling that particular insult, and we know who we are. the rest of you: don't even fucking try it. i will know and i will hunt you down and punish you for it.) it is, however, satisfying to say...they girls and hef were all going to renfair and brought in a language coach to teach them some key phrases so kendra wouldn't feel lost all day. apparently back then, a slut was referred to as a sausage wallet. ha. say it out loud while thinking about the chick your first boyfriend fucked around with. nice, right? i knew you'd like it.

early faves for big brother 10 are in, and i will guarantee that renny ain't winning this one. of course, last season i would have sworn on a stack or your choice of religious published work that big baller and shelia were goners week one and i would have has to eat those words, so who knows? personally, i would go ahead and kick out ALL the people with fake names, like memphis and libra. please. gross. and who else is completely addicted to so you think you can dance? love that shit. will from nashville will win that whole shebang. mark my words. this week the couples split up and he will no longer be saddled with the dead weight of jessica or whatever her fucking name is. and he will rule. local boy does good. he is hot and he can dance his ass off.

weeeeeeeelllll...i have already been more loquacious than i intended, so holla.