finishing the internet

So....the other day my facebook status alluded to the fact that I feel like I have finished the internet, and I have been thinking about that alot and wanted to explore it a little further, especially since I am currently sitting in front of what is arguably the greatest invention since the wheel and am at a loss. I literally could not think of a single site I wanted to visit, or subject to google, or show to watch. My mob is boring the shit out of me, my virtual farm has run its course, and one can only play so many games of bejeweled in a row before dancing gems become the ruler of your dreams. If you don't know what I'm talking about, think back to 1989 when you would try to go to sleep at night and all you could do was see tiny tetris pieces fitting themselves together. It is similar. And if you still don't know what I am talking about you are a Nazi and should keep it to yourself. I am an admitted pop culture junkie, priding myself on besting strangers at 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon or knowing all the words to Miley Cyrus songs, yet I have found myself increasingly bored and frustrated with the old intrawebs. Chat rooms are just entrapment sites for pedophiles, all of the social networking sites have become passe (not that I'm not on FB and myspace very day at some point), so-called entertainment sites all regurgitate the same three photos from the paparazzi and crib from the entertainment weekly i read cover to cover every week, and everything else seems to just give me that "been there, done that" feeling. I guess I am ready for the next big thing, or at least a return to our roots. I am an avid reader and I will stick my neck out right this second and vow to you that short of a Fahrenheit 451-type ban on the printed word, I will never read a book on a Kindle. Ever. Staring at a screen sucks ass. And screens rarely smell as lovely as the dust that settles into the pages of a book. (Ironic that i am typing this very missive with the intention that it be read from a screen, but it can't be helped. Postage for a printed blog is cost-prohibitive and counterproductive). So why can't I find something to help me waste away the hours on the world's greatest global resource for fun and information? Surely there is some stuff left on there that I have yet to discover. Surely. But I can't seem to think of it. Nor have I been able to for a while now. No wonder I find myself worshipping at the altar of the alcoholic (aka Beyond the Edge) so often. I am bored. I need a damn hobby, STAT. Or at least a fun new web site.

holla.