i suck

ok, so my grand plans to have a cmprehensive idol blog has been waylaid by my way too busy life of being a restaurant mogul. for those of you still in the primordial ooze, the diner was reviewed (glowingly, i might add) in the nashville scene yesterday, which is nothing short of freaking awesome. oh, and excuse the abysmal typing...my laptop has suffered a bit of abuse this week and the o button is about broken. it is throwing my usual shoddy typing skills another rung lower on the typing ranking ladder. but i digress. let's get to what is truly important: american fucking idol (the real name of the show, in case you didn't know).
tuesday was in louisville, kentucky, my mm's hometown and the closest audition city in proximity to nashvegas. naturally, i spent a lot of the episode looking for people i know (since i have millions of faithful readers, i am bound t know SMEBODY). yes, the o button sucks on here. get over it). lo and behold, tasha was on again this week, and apparently made it through to hollywood, even though they didn't show her audition, merely a montage f lucky golden ticket recipients dancing in the idol booth, in which she was included. still exciting. i am going out on a limb here and specualting that she didn't make it to the finals, seeing as how she came in to the diner last week and ate and she was severely pregnant. i could be wrong. she is also blond now. huh. the rest of the epiusode flew by in a blur, with s couple of notable standouts:
Adam Lambert, the adorable theater guy with the zac efron hair. hot, but a little too theaterry for me.
John Twiford....just showed a smidge, but he had long hair and was hot. early fave.
kai kalama....hottie mixed race with grgeous teeth. we'll see. jjury's still out on him a bit. he may be too sweet to handle the pressure.

they also showed a few really sucky people make it through. they must have been hard up for butts to fill seats cause a couple of these folks couln't carry a tune in a fucking bucket. i'm talking to YOU tatiana del toro (press kit toting crazy puerto rican) and jesus valenzuela (yuor kids got you in, now step up your game, amigo). i don't hate latinas, i promise. these guys just seemed like tokens.

and finally!!!! we come to Akila Askew-Gohlsten (or something like that). bitch was cray-zee. she had a bunch of info on hw to becme a gospel singer, including diagrams f the trayshea and the larnex. people tried to pronouncee them correctly and she would correct them with the wrong pronunication. funny shit. when seacrest said something abut it coming straight from health class she said, "no! this is off the internet." she also insisted that she doesn't let peple "irracitate" her. what an upbeat gal! oh lord, she was hilarious.

well, i hope to watch wednesday's idol soon and hit ya'll back with some thoughts. in the meantime, check out the nashville scene restaurant page and read abut how awesome my diner is.
holla.

idolatry

Okay kids, you asked for it, so here it is!!!! My poorly typed and poorlier written blog on all things idol, only the best show ever conceived ever. Since I missed blogging after tuesday's show, this one will have to cover two nights and as such might be a bit lengthy. oh well. if you wanna know who is gonna win, you will just have to slog through my useless ramblings and reminisce for the days of yore when i would blog drunk after getting home from the bar and they would actually be somewhat amusing rather than pathetic attempts to feel like i am still vaguely in touch with the rest of the world outside of my diner. ho hum, motherfucker.
anyway, this year idol has finally embraced the feedback from fans and decided to showcase an equal amount of hideously bad self-deluded still living with their mothers social outcasts and people that can actually sing, for which i am eternally grateful. i am one of the few people that actually enjoy the competition part of the show more than the horrible audition weeks. in fact, hollywood week might be my favorite. i love to see them all sleep deprived and irritable, but still vaguely innocent to the fame machine that gets ahold of them once they enter the actual competition. bad hair, ugly clothes, questionable style, bad skin, and voices of angels. Ahh, nothing like it. but i digress. back to this week's auditions. Kansas City, yo. and somehere in arizona or something. who cares. of the 50 or so people put through by the judges, only a handful stand out in my mind.
my ppick for winner of the whole shebang would be danny gokey,aka dead wife guy, except he is too much like david cook and the prodcuers will push someone different, probably latino. but his voice was awesome, he's super cute, and his wife is dead, so sympathy votes will get him at least to the top 5.
stevie wright,aka maybe ugly girl, was also awesome. couldn't tell if she was pretty or not. she would trun her head one way and be beautiful, then look the other way and seem a little horsey. we'll see. she's only 16, so she's disposable.
anoop desai...he was the indian guy dressed like he just came from getting high in the park with the awesome voice. i hope he cleans up well. i like him A LOT.
rocker chick, aka emily wynne-hughes (too much name), aka big spacers in her ears girl was good. i loved that she sang Heart a capella, and pretty well. but, since i can't stand to look at her becasue he giant spacers gross me out, i am betting america is too conservative to hold on to her for very long. grody. top 12 maybe.
ashley anderson, aka leona lewis, jr. maybe the winner this year. gorgeous, good personality, great voice/control, smart song choice. bitch.
scott macintyre, aka blind guy. he's a lock. he's blind, for chrissakes.
deanna brown, aka janis joplin jr, also freakin great. the blond with the wiggy eyes that sang with that smoky-i've-been-chugging-soco-voice. i hope she is more than a one-note.
matt brietzke, aka teddy bear....sand Ain't No Sunshine (good choice). big lug with chops. maybe top 12, no way he'll win.

ok. there were a lot more that made it through, but these are my early faves. did anyone else notice the guy named cody sheldon who looks dead up like silver on 90210? look it up...you'll choke on your cheetos (your hot cheeto, sarah potter?)

and one last shout out: alex wagner. they totally set him up to be a self deluded freak, then he came in and sang like butter. i hope he takes it all. i don't think he will, but he could be this year's sanjaya or chicken little. so weird, but i love him anyway.

whew. that was a lot to pack into just one blog. can't wait til next week. happy time-killing, people.
holla.

It's that time of year

Stay tuned later for my official Idol blog, which will seem totally lame and ridiculous to both of the people left on earth that don't watch idol (akil, you should be ashamed), but to the rest of you will become your go to source for American Idol info, recaps, and predictions for the winner. Or, if you have read me in years past, predictions for the runners-up, for which I have an uncanny ability. It is about to begin, so I will holla at ya later, guys.
holla.
p.s. did anyone besides me see Tara from BTE last night? Am I crazy?