sheesh

So....it has been a while since I have graced you all with my nuggets o' wisdom, but for those of you who aren't already aware, I have a really good reason. I have been busy as hell preparing to open my very own restaurant in East Nasty. The Pied Piper Eatery is a family friendly smoke free alcohol free diner located at the corner of Porter and Riverside in the heart of South Inglewood. If you promise not to spread it around I will let you in on a little secret: it is actually in 37216, not 37206. Don't tell...I really need the hipsters to throw their support my way. Anyway, my brother and I are taking this little expensive adventure together, and I hope to see each and every one of your asses there at least twice a day so I can afford to continue making regular payments to my mortgage company. I don't want to be mistaken for one of the many duped Americans whose names have been bandied about at will lately by some politicians. I could afford my house when I still had a job. Which I don't. Well, the eatery is going to be open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, 7 days a week, with breakfast served all day. We will also be offering curbside take away. As soon as we have a phone number I will post it, too. Please come by anytime you like and check it out or pitch in with the table deco which has turned out to be a giant pain in my ass. But worth it. I don't know how much time I will have for blogging in the near future, but I will try and keep everyone updated. And if I call because I need to ride your couch, you will know it has been a dismal failure and I am now homeless. As you can see, I have lost my regular acerbic wit....mainly due to long days spent toiling and not spent imbibing and playing pool. Oh, shit. I think I may have grown up while I wasn't looking. suck it.

Hey Jenny! What do you think about politics?

The question posed in the title of this blog was answered by my sister with the phrase "I like 'em!"when she was about 10 years old.   That answer, to me, may be the best answer available, especially considering I am a professional slinger of alcoholic beverages, and my chosen profession strongly discourages discussion of politics, sex, religion, and anything else that inspires a slightly interesting conversation.  Nonetheless, tonight's impending debate has me in a politicky state of mind and I thought I would promptly rid myself of said burden by getting my feelings out in words.  And dumping those words into the giant void of the world wide web, where they will most likely remain unheeded, as well they should be.  Anyone that knows me in the slightest is by now well aware of the fact that I am a crazy hippie left wing liberal crazy with very little regard for what transpires outside of my home and Beyond the Edge, and occasionally the Pied Piper Creamery, unless you count my useless complaining about things without ever doing much to change them.  However.  This year's election has elevated me onto my own personal soapbox because I am literally frightened by the prospect of what results this election will bring.  Hope?  Change?  Sarah Palin?  My brother has suggested that perhaps the republicans' decision to pair old John McCain with the crazy lady was an early admission of defeat and they were simply trying to find a throwaway candidate and save the big guns for the next election.  If only I could believe that.  With McCain and Obama neck in neck in the polls, it would be totally unlike any republican I have ever met to concede defeat so early in the race.  In fact, it would be unlike them to ever concede defeat, even after the popular vote has chosen a new president (see 2000, 2004.)  Which then begs the question, "What the FUCK were they thinking?"  Maybe they thought she would be better at memorizing handy catchphrases and utilizing them in conversation.  Or maybe their internet cannot access things from Alaska and were hoping the same was true of the rest of the world and no one would find out that Palin is such a ditzy nobody that likes to skin mooses and scan the horizon for Russians.  Perhaps they put the names of every single female republican in a hat and she was the lucky winner.  Those are the only feasible explanations for why this woman is being allowed to possibly be the right hand gal to the leader of the free world.  Oooh.  Maybe she has a bunch of dirt on John McCain, like homosexual home movies from his college experimental days or paperwork proving he financed Hitler's regime or some such and she blackmailed her way onto the ticket.  That would actually make more sense than being chosen on merit or experience, since she appears to not actually have either of those things.  And what has all this ballyhoo resulted in?  Free press.  And unlike the next new crime procedural on CBS, any press is NOT good press when it comes to the presidential election.  As it is, I await with bated breath to see if Palin can at least regurgitate all of the answers she has undoubtedly spent the last week memorizing for tonight's debate correctly.  And if Biden will let some of his crazy out of the box, too.  Who needs new episodes of the Office when we have Michael Scott's real life female counterpart providing free unscripted entertainment?  Not me.  

holla.