this killin' time is killin' me

hey yall
in case you were wondering, i am indeed still alive and well and watching idol. i really miss having a computer at my house 'cause my BESTEST blogs are always created in the wee hours of the morning, usually after there have been some cocktails, ya know. now i am forced to try and be my usual charming, upbeat self while at work ignoring my employees and pretending that i'm in the office doing something other than religiously checking my facebook, playing mobsters, and stumbling through the internet and posting anything funny as a link on my facebook.
speaking of stumbling (that is using the Stumble Upon! toolbar, for those of you who are fucking morons and don't know already) and posting funny shit as a link, you should stop what you are doing....no, don;t stop reading my blog....immediately after you finish reading my blog, commenting on it, cutting and pasting the address to post it as a link on every conceivable website and committing my nuggets of wisdom to memory, you should then check out michael swaim. he is a contributing writer to cracked.com as well as some other humor sites and fancies himself a comedian. probably cause he's pretty fucking hilarious. the post that got me sucked in was about why chocolate skittles are akin to mouth rape. ha. i then spent the next 2 hours (oops! i missed lunch rush, or the lack thereof) reading his earlier posts and responding to them in the wittiest way i could fashion on the fly in a vain hope that maybe he will read his 200-odd posts, find mine the most entertaining and intelligent and choose to personally reply to me and maybe someday seek me out and be best friends. which i am sure will happen someday, if not soon. i have seriously laughed out loud several times reading his freaking blog, and i am not a laugher. in fact, i pride myself on my ability to never laugh for any reason. shite, that dude is clever. now that i have whored him out, maybe he will come read my blog and be so appreciative that he will beg me to start ghost-writing for him and rescue me from a life of foodservice. yeah.
holla.

p.s. see ya alexis grace and good riddance. i hope matt sarver joins you in about 6 days (if not sooner). in case you are wondering, here's my idol wishlist
winner: danny gokey
2. matt giraud
3. alison iraheta
4. anoop desai
5. lil rounds
6. scott blindguy
7. kris allen

the rest can die, for all i care. they suck. especially adam lambert. he makes my skin crawl, and not in a good way. and megan joy corkerey can spasm on over a cliff, dragging matt sarver with her. maybe he'll land on top of her and crush her, just to add insult to injury.