re: my previous post

WTFF? For those of you who need translation, that means what the fucking fuck? 102.5 had me mystified all week long. Admittedly, I listened way more than I usually would, out of sheer curiosity, so if it was a marketing scheme, it most assuredly worked. However, not in a good way. Let me first address S-Po...when I say standards, I wish I meant the golden oldies. Those i could have handled. By standards, I was referring to the super golden oldies, like from the 40s. Like That's Amore and Mack the Knife and any of the other 8 songs that play on a continuous loop at olive Garden until you want to stab someone with the knife you use to cut fruit. Oops. I regressed a little there. 3 1/2 years of hearing that shit will leave permanent damage to your psyche. Well, the next day was no better, seeing as how it was "All Led Zeppelin, all the time" for 24 hours. I'm thinking any serious Led Zeppelin fan that would be interested in such a format would probably own a CD or two. Plus, the same song played the entire drive to work, which takes about 15 minutes. Then I realized that the all led zeppelin format is genius, because they only neeed one CD the fill an entire broadcast day, seeing as how every song is approximately four and half hours long. Ok. Then the next day, looking to inprove on the sheer entertainment perfection of the day before, 102.5 boasted an all Garth Brooks format. And the thunder rolls, indeed. Needless to say, i couldn't get enough of that shit. I am not ashamed to admit that as far as the aural rape some people call country music goes, Garth Brooks is the man. I know every single word to every single song on No Fences, and I just admitted it in a public forum read by millions. BUT. That doesn't mean I need a radio station dedicated to the man. Luckily, sometime yesterday...noonish, I think, 102.5 reverted back to their old format, leaving me with a slim hope that I will still get my Casey Kasem fix in the morning. Let's all cross our collective fingers on this one, and chalk this week down to randomness. It wasn't as soul crushing as when, say, 103.3 changed from the best rock station ever to a country format. On April 1st, no less, making us all think it was a super cruel April Fool's Day joke, when in fact the real joke was on us, as it was no joke. But, it sucked in it's own way. Oh well. I gotta run. I am bartending a private party this evening in H-town, and I am superstoked. Lots o' cash, free booze, and no Nazi inspired "I Heart My Job" t-shirts...
holla

Knocking on wood doesn't fucking work

So, I am personally the biggest jinx ever, and I hereby vow to make a consious effort to not like anything else so it cannot then be destroyed just to fuck with me. In case I have lost you at this point, allow me to elucidate. I assume you religiously read my blog, sometimes over and over again, and are therefore familiar with my previous post about my newfound love for the top 40 from the eighties every Sunday morning. Well, I got in my car today to go to work and my radio was tuned to 102.5, the very same station. The song on the radio was some oldie from the 40's or so, but I just assumed they were playing some Buble or something to appease the old ladies that inevitably tune in while at work. Imagine my horror then, when I get back in my car 5 hours later, and the same crappy tunes are playing. 102.5 has undergone a format change. From pop to standards. Because there is a huge demand for that in Nashville suddenly, I guess. WHAT THE FUCK (or, for those of you that only speak text, WTF!?!?). Why me? I am not allowed to have even the smallest pleasures in life. If there is anything you hold near and dear, be sure and keep it a secret from my cursed ass.
holla.

MMMM....so meaty!

OK, kids. show of hands. How many of you actually know what every single button on your tv remote does? Or your cable remote. For that matter, what about your stereo/dvd/dvr/vcr/amp, etc remote? Nobody? I don't see anyone raising their hand...right. What the hell are all of those fucking buttons for? Does anyone have a clue? I use approximately 5 buttons ona regular basis. Menu, channel up/down, volume up/down, and the 15 second rewind button (god bless you, dvr!). The rest are pretty much a mystery to me, and will probably stay that way. I don't seem to be suffering from any lack of tv watching due to my ignorance of the function of these buttons. I am beginning to appreciate the appeal of those giant button geezer phones they hawk in AARP magazine that do nothing but call people (what a concept! a phone that does nothing but phone...) I can't imagine how confusing a universal remote would be to someone that can't quite grasp the all-too elusive text message (sorry, dad. I texted him one sunday to ask him a question and several days later he managed to call me back and explain that while he was aware that he had received a text, he has no idea how to read it, much less return it. go figure.) I consider myself somewhat technologically savvy...i buy things on ebay, I take pictures with my phone, I blog. I even maintain a pretty kick ass myspace profile. I can't hack the pentagon or anything, but I got my grandpa beat hands down. Nonetheless, i have three remotes in my basket o' remotes that have never, to my knowledge, had batteries in them, much less been used for something. It's a remote control epidemic in the piper house. anyway, just some thoughts.
holla.

new favorite thing

okay, get off my ass, people. i know it has been awhile since i posted, but my life is super busy, what with all the bartending, ice cream scooping, nephew tickling, and, of course, tv watching that i have to squeeze into my typical week. who has time to sit down and dispense completely unselfish nuggets of wisdom for the masses? apparently i do, just not as often as i would like. plus, i have been told by fairly reliable sources that my blogs are not nearly as funny when i am sober as they are when i am under the influence, and lately drinking and coherency have been mutually exclusive. but not tonight. oh, no. i have the house to myself this evening, which is an exception rather than a rule lately, and i thought i would take advantage of such rare solitude by whacking a few mobsters, squeezing in a couple rounds of scramble (happy, ninner?), and blogging. none of which i am doing naked even though i totally could. shwhatever. actually, what drove me to the keyboard this evening is my desire to share with you guys my new favorite thing, an activity that will come as a surprise to many of you who are aware of my proclivities, the gamut of which almost never contains getting up early for any reason whatsoever. but, i have finally found an activity that is worthwhile enough that i have been dragging my lazy hungover ass out of bed early for, on sundays, no less. and it ain't church, god forbid. nope. i have been hopelessly addicted to listening to 102.5 FM every sunday morning. they play a replay of casey kasem's top 40 countdown from the mid-eighties, requests and dedications intact. it's like riding the nostalgia train straight to the 7th or 8th grade. i heard the song "donna" by debarge for the first time in 20+ years yesterday and surprisingly still knew every word. i know the pipers have this weird propensity for knowing song lyrics, but even i was not aware that i knew all the words to any debarge songs. i do. for real. for those of ya'll around my age, which is most of you, i do believe, this coming sunday take a little stroll down memory lane and check it out. the dedications with make you laugh, the quiet uselessness will make you cry. then roll over to 107.5 at 10 and check out the new top 40 with ryan seacrest. i expect a compare and contrast paper, no less than 5 pages, on my desk monday morning.

holla.